Friday, May 6, 2011

The regrets of the childless, and overpopulation thoughts

An article by a woman named Mandy Appleyard displays deep regret and hurt at not having kids.

I know, for example, that not being a mother means there is a part of me which remains unused, a love that will be forever unexpressed. I know that what any mother describes as the most profound love she has ever known is, to me, a locked door — there is so much love I will never be able to give, wisdom and understanding I cannot share, shelter and solace I cannot provide.

In my lifetime of feminine upbringing and control, I have seldom seriously heard this opinion expressed in media. It has always been the professional, career women who lash out at such backwards thoughts versus the heartland's attitudes, more expressed at family reunions than in a newspaper. To hear this from a British woman in the Daily Mail blog is stunning.

An aside about overpopulation - feminism locks arms with scientific observations in saying that the planet is overpopulated. The Anglo world is shrinking and being overtaken by "mass producers". The rabid promotion of birth control and childlessness does not help the problem, but only destroys the local population, while other populations take over. To address the problem, the world as one must take each step. It doesn't matter how enlightened the Western world is, or how proud we can feel about lowering our teenage pregnancy rate, if the rest of the world does not follow along. (The short answer is, affluence lowers the birth rate. Promote the global economy, help your neighbors out.)

Even though I am a man, being 38 and never married does play upon me, some. I want children. I want that good old fashioned marriage (with a few new-fangled kinks) with 2.5 children and a white picket fence. So there's hope for the thirty-something women out there, because WE are out there. Others have expressed better than I the reason women think there are no good men out there, though I may write a post on it at some point.

To read this woman's article gives me hope that more women will come forward and realize that something is very wrong. I feel sorry for her, but I feel hope that these regrets will come to light. They are not to be swept under the rug. It is far better to address our problems in a straightforward manner.

Good for Mandy, and my deepest condolences to her as well.

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