S. (names changed to protect the innocent) was a girl I had gone on a few dates with over in Nashville. Nashville is an hour and half drive for me, so things really had to go places for me to continue. I make good money, but gas prices still do hurt.
After 4 dates, she called it off. Fair enough. Then she texts me wanting to be friends. That seems simple enough.
However, my situation is not so simple. I have TONS of male and female friends, right here in my own city. I go out, I have fun, I meet new people all the time. To be her friend, the way she wants it, is to clog up my text inbox, and occasionally wait for me to drive up to Nashville to see her. Maybe it could be coupled with visits to see my family up there? To me, "friend" is like "love", much too broad of a word and easily misinterpreted. At this point, I feel like when I don't make plans in the next month to visit Nashville and have drinks, I feel like she is going to complain.
I was perfectly willing to move on. Next! She wants to flirt and have fun but not have too many benefits. To me, it seems like I am doing a disservice to myself for lingering any longer. Is she a nice person just to hang out with with no chance of a relationship or sex? Yes, but I'm not going to drive to Nashville for that sort of emasculating sisterhood that I can get right here in my own city. It's this sort of harmless existence that doesn't get me laid that I am trying to avoid, like the plague.
Side note: the reason I post here is because in trying to explain this on my regular blog, I got blasted out by a male, married friend. Don't be that guy! Don't be the lout every woman complains about! Well, I've always been an upstanding guy: but at the same time I must must MUST excise the pushover-ness that has come with it. There are plenty of examples of men who are not cads, but take control of their lives and attract women. I am striving to be like that. Obviously, the secret is to not let people on to the churning engine going on underneath the hood. Hell, for a man's relationship blog, I shouldn't even be posting a wussy post like this. But maybe I can look back on this in time and realize how far I have come.